Fast food is just that. It may be something you indulge in once in a while, or it can become your diet. Slightly better is restaurant food, but that's something one can only afford if one has the right amount of currency and free time. Home cooked can be the best of all, b/c you know exactly what's in it, who made it, and how it should taste. It takes time, effort, and love and is always worth it, but it can also get boring after a long while.
I lived on Fast Food for 2 years and look how sick I got. I haven't been to a restaurant in ages, and am looking forward to it again, but it doesn't seem to be in teh near future. Home-cooking is a valid option, but I don't have enough energy to put into anything serious right now. Quicky meals here and there, simple but sustaining. Enough to keep me going. I can still go to a restaurant, just don't bring home any leftovers.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Night Out With the Guard Dog
Had a little surprise outing with the Guard Dog today.
I had to bring Shun home after he spent the weekend on my couch again. I had planned to roam the mall that evening after dropping him off, but then decided to see if GD could join me for company.
GD and I wander and talk and flirt and stuff, normal. I bring him home, we smooch in the driveway for a while, talk, smooch, etc..
Talk turned to GD's ghost hunting and paranormal things. Told me about the ghosts in his house and how his brother had seen things. I felt for the energies and got strong impressions. Described things to GD who nodded and said that's how his brother described the ghost. Creeped us both out.
All thru the evening, GD and I had heard music in stores and started signing along of our own accord. It was uncanny. Hears several songs on my playlist that I had been listening too the month before we first met. All music he already liked. Again, odd.
I had to bring Shun home after he spent the weekend on my couch again. I had planned to roam the mall that evening after dropping him off, but then decided to see if GD could join me for company.
GD and I wander and talk and flirt and stuff, normal. I bring him home, we smooch in the driveway for a while, talk, smooch, etc..
Talk turned to GD's ghost hunting and paranormal things. Told me about the ghosts in his house and how his brother had seen things. I felt for the energies and got strong impressions. Described things to GD who nodded and said that's how his brother described the ghost. Creeped us both out.
All thru the evening, GD and I had heard music in stores and started signing along of our own accord. It was uncanny. Hears several songs on my playlist that I had been listening too the month before we first met. All music he already liked. Again, odd.
Notes to Myself - Not a Game, but a Lesson Plan
With 3 players in this juggling game, I've got 3 lessons to learn fromeach of them. The test is not falling for anyof them indiviually. Spred my attention out between teh 3 of them, mange my time, learn from them and teach them in turn.
The Guard Dog teaches Trust.
The Wolfhound teaches Patience.
The Lone Wolf teaches .... I don't know yet. Confidence, maybe. Mine, not his.
The Locals:
The Wolfhound isn't always available, or responsive to text messages. That's because he's still owned by another mistress, whom he cannot fully escape. When he's managed to sneak away for a while, he will contact me. Wait for the next snow storm to really get an idea.
The Guard Dog... the Rottweiler. The dog who looks and sounds dangerous, and is in the wrong situations, but who was trained to protect. Intimidating and victim to "Judging a Book by its Cover" syndrome.
So many things about Guard Dog remind me of my ex, but then I have to remember that GD is very different. He comes from hardy stock, good breeding, and even though he's fucked up in his past, he's made an active effort to bring himself to better things and stay there. He's also well trained.
but so was he or so he claimed and you saw and felt for yourslef how much he hated things about you and women in general he dlighted in your torture there wqas soemthing wrong with him he was dangersous.
There's a big difference between a cat and a dog. cats are loyal to themselves, chaotic neutral in many cases. Dogs are generally lawful good or chaotic good.
Both the Wolfhound and the Guard Dog have their issues with mothers in their lives, but they also have strong bonds with fathers, sister,s and other relatives. No one's perfect and we all have black sheep int eh family, but most are grey.
The Wolfhound has been sniffing around me for a while, I'm comfortable with him after years of flirting and long talks. It's always been clear that with the Wolfhound, things are a more... bestial nature. A shape I"m comfortable with and a background close to my own. He is also very easy going and casual, and there has never been any pressure. If anything, there's been a lack of pressure until given the go-ahead. It could be just nerves, but those will fade in time.
The Guard Dog is fairly new, but has made the most profound progress. B/c he reminds me of what I've left behind, every time I learn new truths about him, they cross out my previous assumptions. While there is passion and desire, there is also temperance and control. The Guard Dog was a rough pup int eh past, but with proper training, grew into the self-assured, protective, well-conditioned guardian he is today. He is gentle to me, but doesn't hide his rough side in tales of past exploits. He is honest and doesn't push established boundaries without consent.
The Outsider:
The Lone Wolf.
He is damaged and the best way I can help him is by being available to talk and listen to his problems. He is in need most of my emotional stability and compassion. Neither the Wolfhound, nor the Guard Dog are in need of "fixing" as far as emotional issues go. They each seem to have control over their own shit, and even tho their lives aren't exactly how they would prefer them to be, they are comfortable in basic needs.
The Lone Wolf is a man-child, struggling to find his place as Alpha Wolf. He must carve out his niche in the world, but lacks the self confidence to do so. He has been the omega of the pack for most of his life and doesn't have the means to break free and begin anew.
The Wolf is anything from Lawful Good, to lawful Evil, depending on who you ask. This wolf... is to depressed to really show his true form. I have hope for him though.
The Guard Dog teaches Trust.
The Wolfhound teaches Patience.
The Lone Wolf teaches .... I don't know yet. Confidence, maybe. Mine, not his.
The Locals:
The Wolfhound isn't always available, or responsive to text messages. That's because he's still owned by another mistress, whom he cannot fully escape. When he's managed to sneak away for a while, he will contact me. Wait for the next snow storm to really get an idea.
The Guard Dog... the Rottweiler. The dog who looks and sounds dangerous, and is in the wrong situations, but who was trained to protect. Intimidating and victim to "Judging a Book by its Cover" syndrome.
So many things about Guard Dog remind me of my ex, but then I have to remember that GD is very different. He comes from hardy stock, good breeding, and even though he's fucked up in his past, he's made an active effort to bring himself to better things and stay there. He's also well trained.
but so was he or so he claimed and you saw and felt for yourslef how much he hated things about you and women in general he dlighted in your torture there wqas soemthing wrong with him he was dangersous.
There's a big difference between a cat and a dog. cats are loyal to themselves, chaotic neutral in many cases. Dogs are generally lawful good or chaotic good.
Both the Wolfhound and the Guard Dog have their issues with mothers in their lives, but they also have strong bonds with fathers, sister,s and other relatives. No one's perfect and we all have black sheep int eh family, but most are grey.
The Wolfhound has been sniffing around me for a while, I'm comfortable with him after years of flirting and long talks. It's always been clear that with the Wolfhound, things are a more... bestial nature. A shape I"m comfortable with and a background close to my own. He is also very easy going and casual, and there has never been any pressure. If anything, there's been a lack of pressure until given the go-ahead. It could be just nerves, but those will fade in time.
The Guard Dog is fairly new, but has made the most profound progress. B/c he reminds me of what I've left behind, every time I learn new truths about him, they cross out my previous assumptions. While there is passion and desire, there is also temperance and control. The Guard Dog was a rough pup int eh past, but with proper training, grew into the self-assured, protective, well-conditioned guardian he is today. He is gentle to me, but doesn't hide his rough side in tales of past exploits. He is honest and doesn't push established boundaries without consent.
The Outsider:
The Lone Wolf.
He is damaged and the best way I can help him is by being available to talk and listen to his problems. He is in need most of my emotional stability and compassion. Neither the Wolfhound, nor the Guard Dog are in need of "fixing" as far as emotional issues go. They each seem to have control over their own shit, and even tho their lives aren't exactly how they would prefer them to be, they are comfortable in basic needs.
The Lone Wolf is a man-child, struggling to find his place as Alpha Wolf. He must carve out his niche in the world, but lacks the self confidence to do so. He has been the omega of the pack for most of his life and doesn't have the means to break free and begin anew.
The Wolf is anything from Lawful Good, to lawful Evil, depending on who you ask. This wolf... is to depressed to really show his true form. I have hope for him though.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Shun Cooks
Shun Cooks, a set on Flickr.
My friend Shun is a chef, and whenever he comes to visit, he invariably whips up something at 3am.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Notes to Myself - On Lust Spells
THEY BLOODY WELL WORK
After 2 years in hell, I"m taking a break from relationships. Having fun and playing around, yes. Settling into a meaningful, heart-felt relationship, HELL NO.
No more love spells, since those are emotional and complex and good gods, i don't need that. LUST spells, however, are fun, flirty, and no one gets hurt.
3 players.
P1 - The Irish Wolfhound : Local, been interested for years, most progress made, most comfortable around. (Cons - Stuck in a Man Trap, in process of breaking free. Availability scarce.)
P2 - The Guard Dog : Recent, still hesitant but speedy progress being made. (Con - First official date on hold for @ least 3 wks, no vehicle till then. New job, pay delayed.)
P3 - The Alpha Wolf : Long distance, online. (Con - Chance for RL meet up slim.)
Strange how they're all canine...
After 2 years in hell, I"m taking a break from relationships. Having fun and playing around, yes. Settling into a meaningful, heart-felt relationship, HELL NO.
No more love spells, since those are emotional and complex and good gods, i don't need that. LUST spells, however, are fun, flirty, and no one gets hurt.
3 players.
P1 - The Irish Wolfhound : Local, been interested for years, most progress made, most comfortable around. (Cons - Stuck in a Man Trap, in process of breaking free. Availability scarce.)
P2 - The Guard Dog : Recent, still hesitant but speedy progress being made. (Con - First official date on hold for @ least 3 wks, no vehicle till then. New job, pay delayed.)
P3 - The Alpha Wolf : Long distance, online. (Con - Chance for RL meet up slim.)
Strange how they're all canine...
Friday, January 13, 2012
OLD POST: Elemental Pop Culture Altar
**I"m currently battling a wicked sinus infection (Thank you, Shun...), so to keep things from fizzling out here early, I'm re-posting an older entry from Fantastical Foxy **
When I first started researching and learning about paganism and magic, I first stuck with just the Elements: Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Ether (Soul). I wanted nothing to do with gods, or spirits, just the parts of the natural world that I could easily see, feel, taste, and smell. Those things were what made magic REAL to me, since they were made up of things I already knew without a doubt existed.
As I was reading the correspondences, the thought occurred to me 'Hey, the mask colors of the TMNT match up with the different elements... and the personalities of each corresponds with the same. I know how I can make an incognito altar!" And so i set my action figures up on my dresser (my first altar) and my parents never were the wiser.
I still keep the Guys on the main altar as Guardians of the Directions/Elements, but since I now have the space, freedom, and ability to do so, I decided to make them their own Elemental Shrine.
In the Eastern Corner, accompanied by a little ceramic cat (Klunk), and a red-headed fairy (gift from Mom, reminded her of me when I was little), Incense matches and Night Blossom perfume, is Michaelangelo.
In the Northern Corner, flanked by my Dragon Tarot deck, a ceramic fox I made in college, and a river stone, is Donatello.
Raphael watches over the Southern Corner, along with a turtle votive holder, and spare lighter.
Leonardo is a bit lonely int he Western Corner, with only a ceramic sea turtle for company, but that's only until I get some more Water-themed items. I have a silver chalice, but don't know where it went to...
In the center, holding a spot for Splinter until I can track him down, is another Mikey (from the short-lived and badly done live-action series). Beside him are solid sandalwood perfume, and frankincense and myrrh.
Also on the altar are my collection of stones and gems, at least all the ones not currently in use on the Main Altar. They're encircling and holding in a Spell in Progress.
House protection candle, purple glass buoy float (cushioned in a Mikey wristband), and my lucky silver 1946 quarter, "6 Lucky Wishes" bracelet (too fragile to wear), paw print flashy button (idk why it's there, it just felt right), 'gum drop' TMNT figures, my Green Man anklet that finally broke, and Snakey Stone.
When I first started researching and learning about paganism and magic, I first stuck with just the Elements: Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Ether (Soul). I wanted nothing to do with gods, or spirits, just the parts of the natural world that I could easily see, feel, taste, and smell. Those things were what made magic REAL to me, since they were made up of things I already knew without a doubt existed.
As I was reading the correspondences, the thought occurred to me 'Hey, the mask colors of the TMNT match up with the different elements... and the personalities of each corresponds with the same. I know how I can make an incognito altar!" And so i set my action figures up on my dresser (my first altar) and my parents never were the wiser.
I still keep the Guys on the main altar as Guardians of the Directions/Elements, but since I now have the space, freedom, and ability to do so, I decided to make them their own Elemental Shrine.
In the Eastern Corner, accompanied by a little ceramic cat (Klunk), and a red-headed fairy (gift from Mom, reminded her of me when I was little), Incense matches and Night Blossom perfume, is Michaelangelo.
In the Northern Corner, flanked by my Dragon Tarot deck, a ceramic fox I made in college, and a river stone, is Donatello.
Raphael watches over the Southern Corner, along with a turtle votive holder, and spare lighter.
Leonardo is a bit lonely int he Western Corner, with only a ceramic sea turtle for company, but that's only until I get some more Water-themed items. I have a silver chalice, but don't know where it went to...
In the center, holding a spot for Splinter until I can track him down, is another Mikey (from the short-lived and badly done live-action series). Beside him are solid sandalwood perfume, and frankincense and myrrh.
Also on the altar are my collection of stones and gems, at least all the ones not currently in use on the Main Altar. They're encircling and holding in a Spell in Progress.
House protection candle, purple glass buoy float (cushioned in a Mikey wristband), and my lucky silver 1946 quarter, "6 Lucky Wishes" bracelet (too fragile to wear), paw print flashy button (idk why it's there, it just felt right), 'gum drop' TMNT figures, my Green Man anklet that finally broke, and Snakey Stone.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
There's a NAME for what I do??
And here i thought I was the only one to use cartoon characters as stand-ins for the gods!
I just ordered two books on Pop Culture Magick . For the last 10 years, I've felt ashamed and frightened because of how I worshiped my gods and spirits. I made the mistake of telling my occult friends in school about my using the TMNT as representations of the elements. I was ridiculed, harassed, BULLIED, THREATENED by these sickos! After that, I kept my mouth shut and was pretty much terrified to even go to school for a while. And this wasn't high school, this was college, Freshman year. Fun times.
BUT! Now I know I'm not the only one who has turned modern mythical figures into working occult symbols! I FEEL VALIDATED! I'M NOT (totally) CRAZY!
Seriously, I'm super fucking THRILLED by this! I haven't felt this exalted since I first learned what the words "Furry Art" meant, and learned that I wasn't the only person who drew animals instead of people.
I just ordered two books on Pop Culture Magick . For the last 10 years, I've felt ashamed and frightened because of how I worshiped my gods and spirits. I made the mistake of telling my occult friends in school about my using the TMNT as representations of the elements. I was ridiculed, harassed, BULLIED, THREATENED by these sickos! After that, I kept my mouth shut and was pretty much terrified to even go to school for a while. And this wasn't high school, this was college, Freshman year. Fun times.
BUT! Now I know I'm not the only one who has turned modern mythical figures into working occult symbols! I FEEL VALIDATED! I'M NOT (totally) CRAZY!
Seriously, I'm super fucking THRILLED by this! I haven't felt this exalted since I first learned what the words "Furry Art" meant, and learned that I wasn't the only person who drew animals instead of people.
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