Saliva 10X. I've used it twice before and had no adverse effects, both times were in safe surroundings, and as unnerving as the hallucinatory experience was, both were good trips with productive visions.
Not so with this last one. And I do mean last, I don't think I'll use it again at that strength. If ever again.
I had just finished a bedtime ritual on Valentine's Day to thank the gods for their blessings and to continue to bring more love into my life. Got into bed, lit bowl, inhale. Didn't get much, took a second hit. Big mistake.
The world turned into a very creepy Raggedy Ann & Andy cartoon world that had such a strong feeling of deja vu, I was terrified of which reality was Prime. Everything in my room was alive (a belief I've always had, but this was... wrong). I fell off the bed and rolled around, trying to pull myself out of it. Thankfully, the cat came over and I fixed on her. I remember saying "Achilles, help Mommy out of this!" She left the room and I followed her, crawling on the floor until I reached the doorway to the living room. I pulled myself up and clung to the wall, trying to shake the prickly cold feeling of being between worlds and struggling to ground myself in Prime Reality. Thoughts swirled in my head, words tried to form themselves on my tongue but I just couldn't croak them out. The feeling that I was just moments away from the break thru I'd been searching for was maddening, but it was also a coin toss between getting answers and losing my sanity. I called out for the Guard Dog and just saying his name brought a little bit of me back, it calmed me. I stumbled into the living room and groped for a light switch. Flipping the switch brought me back to the world and as the visions faded, I began to cry.
I had done a lot of research on Saliva before I ever tried it. I think the last 2 times had been a weaker extract (5X i think) and from a different supplier. This was a lot more potent and I was unprepared for the negative effects. While it has definitely turned me off of Saliva, it has also reinforced the fact that one MUST RESPECT THE SPIRITS OF THE PLANTS. They should not to be used recreationally (Cannabis is a grey area), but with proper setting, research, experience, and knowledge, Even then, one still takes the risk of not coming back. While I know that entheogens are to be a part of my practices, I will always use precautions and if I ever EVER decide to try hallucinogens again, it will be only after years of research and with a sitter. I have not be scared off of the path entirely, but I took a foolish risk, thinking I knew what I was doing. I'm lucky I got myself out of it with no damage.